There is no answer.
There is no answer.
This is Part 2 of yesterday's email about the Understanding of Cluelessness.
Let me clarify. For most things in life there seems to be no final indisputable answer.
Even scientific conclusions change as further experiments are conducted over time.
Below are 6 points that support the idea that there is no perfect answer to anything. Again, my personal observations :)
1)
In the video below, Kelly McGonigal says anxiety is a sign you care. 💁♀️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAIOkOOKb34
This idea made them less anxious but I wouldn’t say this helps me at all.
But it’s real to them so it’s not incorrect and it would probably help my mum.
People are different and therefore need different solutions.
That’s why people not treating you nicely or liking you does not make you bad - it could either mean you’ve got growth to do or those are simply not your people.
Everyone's perspective is valid, because it's real to them.
"Real" is what we can see, hear, feel, touch or be directly impacted by.
No certain answer to anything.
2)
Outward projection limits inward reflection. 🙍♂️
This relates to accountability.
A lot of people avoid accountability by blaming others or talking badly on them for a situation instead of just saying “okay” and thinking about how they can improve or what they can learn from it.
So they blunder the opportunity.
Be aware of this because a lack of accountability is very common from what I’ve seen.
Accountability means you can learn from others and absorb their experience. Not being arrogant and pretending you know everything.
3) 🎄
Some people talk about “Self-development stages” and how they're really advanced when compared to the "average" person.
This idea implies we’re all moving towards the same goal or life...
When really we all have different values we’re trying to embody, therefore a different character we’re making efforts towards.
A different impact we’re looking to make.
Maybe we only value material gain rather than actual self-improvement. 🤷♂️
Since we’re on different paths, there are no concrete self development stages.
There’s only progress in overcoming personal troubles and embodying personal values.
Consider that life goes up and down too.
So “stages” is an iffy term, because once you’ve hit a stage, would you consider yourself still at that level even if you fall back into a depression?
Another thing to consider is that doing objectively better in some areas of life may drag down other areas.
Like me making lots of YT videos at one stage showed great dedication, but the quality of the videos went down and the growth of my Peaky Pines Discord Community actually slowed because I started neglecting it.
So try not to judge yourself or compare yourself to others for these reasons.
The only expectations that you should have are that you live by your values in the present moment and generally try your best in the stuff you do.
4)
Expectations. 🤔
Someone may expect you to do a specific thing in a specific way.
Maybe whatever’s expected of you doesn’t feel right or you don’t feel drawn to it.
Perhaps you value or prioritise different things...
Don’t live a life you don’t want to live.
If anyone close to you expects differently, all I’d say is consider the impacts on them, or show love and consideration while still following your truth.
5)
Your headspace can be very dynamic. 🕺
Your headspace or state of mind is your perception of reality as well as the emotions you feel...
And it can change very quickly.
For example, I might be getting ready in the morning and I feel adrenaline surge as I anticipate getting a coffee before work.
So keen for it... that feeling is my reality in that moment.
Then all of a sudden I walk outside the house towards the cafe down the road and my mind switches to the fact that I’ve bought coffee 2 days in a row and surely can’t have another.
The coffee suddenly becomes gross to me and my brain’s like, “you don’t need coffee, why would you need coffee?”
This idea happens to everyone to some degree.
Another example was when I was coaching a call centre agent at work recently and they were a little stressed until the call was over.
They smiled at me with relief and I smiled too.
Then unfortunately, over the weekend they ruminated lots about the call and came back Monday complaining that I hadn’t been helpful and had laughed at them.
So just try to manage your emotions, slow down and breathe, and understand that someone’s outward projection at you doesn’t mean you’re bad.
6)
What happens when you fully embody these things? 🙏
You don’t take life so seriously, but you thrive more.
You act less emotionally.
You take on board new information and simply consider it, limiting confirmation bias and cognitive dissonance (Cognitive Dissonance is either described as having 2 conflicting beliefs at once, or having trouble accepting new information, because you can't let go of what you thought was true).
You’re less affected by people’s negative outward projections towards you. Whether it’s words, actions or opinions.
You’re more accountable and speak badly upon people much less. Ideally you’d only give someone constructive criticism or encourage accountability on their end as well as your own.
There’s no full answer.
Along with “holistic” or overall health, the Understanding of Cluelessness is one of the things that would possibly serve as a good or very good complement to medication and/or therapy.
Summary: The Understanding of Cluelessness 🌎
Nobody knows what’s going on.
Nobody has the answer.
Everybody has different beliefs on what’s right or wrong, moral or immoral.
People neglect new information through confirmation bias or cognitive dissonance, but when they finally change their mind they may act like you're foolish for still holding the same beliefs they did.
People say your opinion is wrong but then change their own opinion the next week.
People judging you for having flaws almost like they're pretending they don’t have other flaws of their own.
I find all this stuff immensely valuable and for the most part have only learnt it through experience.
You gonna keep some of this in mind throughout the next few days?
Riley. ❤️
P.S. I told you there's a social community for the Peaky Pines. The Peaky People.
I typically don't want random people in there, because I want to maximise the chances that everyone inside connects or resonates with each other.
And might connect with me.
But honestly if you've gotten this far listening to the stuff I say, you're probably the right person to join.
P.P.S. If you only want to talk to people from your country, you'll probably leave the community since we have 10+ nationalities at this time.